Feedback
''This was an immensely enjoyable video and can be transformed into an excellent project. The narrative is very strong and Georgia's performance is magnificent. Abi’s performance is good too. The male lead is inconsistent in performance in the narrative and lacking power and charisma in the band footage. Remember, it is a magnificent performance of YOUR narrative, so the credit needs to go to you for producing the narrative. I do think most of it needs re-shooting, but you are able to re-shoot from a perspective of knowing that the video works, which is a good position.
General issues:
Lots of the footage is very dark
Lip synching is out
The violin footage jars with the overall video - perhaps this could be re-done with the band footage and the focus just on the violin, not the violinist.
The performance of the stabbing is a bit ropey.
The lead singer needs to be more dynamic.
It needs chorus shots with lots of energy.
I would have the cheeky wave on the last shot, before she becomes genuinely menacing and psychotic in the flick of a switch.
She needs to slap him harder. Could you use some diegetic sound for the slap?
How do you film a slap scene?
He needs to kick Abi harder.
When she has been dumped, but before she gets the doll she should "totally do one". She needs to be mental/devastated here. I want to think that suicide, crying and violence are all possible, before she settles on the doll.
The band need to be more dynamic.
DRUMS Drum shots on the drum solos. More band footage, but don't take too much of the narrative away because it is fabulous.
Get the brother out - I had to explain it to people who assumed it was just the protagonist.
Specific shots:
The walk on is nice but possibly a little slow. Remember the band are representing their whole brand image in the opening shots, yet we don't see their faces.
In the passage scene there is a banner on the door - this is distracting
The bedroom door is not the best
Why is Abi wearing that jumper on a date? Would he really ditch a girl who dresses as a nurse for one in that jumper?
Georgia too long outside the pub.
The wardrobe scene in edited quite awkwardly.
I like the head spin, but perhaps it needs to happen on the "Everywhere..." line to match the increased tempo of the song.
When he falls, which I love, it takes him a very long time (and shot more importantly) to get up.
Why does he have a T-shirt under his pre-surgery material?
Why is he about to open a wardrobe when he has just been in the pub?
On the first zoom on the doll you nearly miss the actual doll.
Suggested re-shooting:
Re-shoot the hospital scenes out of school.
Why does he look at the walls when the hood is removed? I would look at the person who took it off. Where was this scene filmed?
What is the time on the kitchen clocks?
More footage of the doll - it's really creepy.
Get a new barmaid.''
This is the feedback we received from our rough cut, we have thoroughly observed and taken in the feedback as we think that by considering suggestions of improvements to our video we can improve it and hopefully identify and complete changes that our target audience would enjoy and like.
It came to our attention that when we completed feedback, it was clearly pointed out to us that the slap scene at the start of the video, was too dark and more camera angles were needed to catch the mood and feeling of this key moment in the video. We took advice given in our feedback to re-shoot this scene using more and brighter lights and we also decided use two cameras’ to get more angles on the slap scene.
Through doing feedback, the feedback showed us that although our narrative is strong, our band performance lacks ‘charisma’ and ‘enthusiasm’ will have decided to improve this critiques made so we decided to offer our lead male techniques to improve his confidence. We think that this will improve the bands overall performance. We will also change the location of the band footage, by swapping a black studio for a small recording studio we think that it will add more character to the band footage and therefore create more charisma.
We were told that the violin footage didn’t relate as well as we’d hoped to the rest of the video so rather than incorporating a violin into the initial band we decided to cut the violin out as we didn’t think it would fit into a rock-pop band.
This is the plan for the DVD cover for Momentum, our concept for the cover involves the lead singer being grabbed by many female hands, we will have many females holding on to his body and I will then Photoshop the girl’s bodies out of the image to leave an array of female hands holding on to his body. We will try to co-ordinate, Dan, the lead singers outfit so it matches with the Momentum logo. As the logo features the colour purple, we will style Dan wearing a purple t-shirt, this will then be consistent. We will have the band in the background as I think it’s important to incorporate the whole band into the cover. The spine will be mainly influenced by Momentums logo, as when the DVD is on a shelf we would want it to be recognisable by just the spine. The spine will consist of the bands name in the style of the logo and also a slight image of the circled shape of the logo we think that this will make the spine stand out. For the back of the DVD cover we think it would a waste not to use the voodoo doll in the cover, we think this because as the voodoo doll is Momentums motif, its very recognisable so I’m planning designing the back of the DVD cover so the image of the Voodoo is the background, I will make the image very opaque so its not too obvious and also by making the image op
aque, it will lighten the bright yellow colour making it less dazzling and it will also allow the other images to be seen. Also on the black of the cover we will include the bands name at the top, the name will again be in the style of the logo to make it consistent. We will also include some images from the footage of the music video. We will have 3 images, one of the band, one of an instrument and another of the psycho ex-girlfriend (Georgia) who features in our music video. The images will be presented in a colour box format which will incorporate some colour into the cover. A track list will also be included on the back of the DVD cover.
